I will walk you step by step through the interview I just had:
I walked in to the lobby and had 7 sets of eyes on me, 14 judging eyeballs of the other interviewees I was competing with for the position. The waiting room was jammed with designer suits.
"Great" I thought to myself as I walked up to the desk. The secretary wrote with a fuzzy pink pen with a pink fur ball on the top. I was doomed.
"Fill this out and attach a carbon copy of your resume," she explained matter-of-factly.
Well, I didn't have a hard copy because I left my porfolio downtown yesterday at another office. But I filled out the paper work and gave it to her.
I explained to her how I had left my resume folder somewhere.
"So you don't have a hard copy with you?" she asked.
"Um, no." I replied sheepishly. (This was starting to feel like "Office Space" and the Memo/ Cover Sheet game.)
I sat down with the others and waited. The music playing? Techno. I couldn't stop tapping my feet to it, while the other candidates watched from the corners of their eyes in distaste. (I thought it looked more unprofessional NOT to move a little while the company blasted Techno beats at us).
The interviews were lasting about 3 minutes apiece. Then, it was my turn. The woman came out of the interview room and picked up my clipboard from the desk. She looked at the secretary and said loudly, "This one doesn't have a resume?"
"No," the secretary whispered.
"Huh," the woman remarked disapprovingly.
"Great," I thought for the fifth time in ten minutes.
Then she walked me into the room. "So," she said. "You don't have your resume with you?"
"No," I replied. "I'm from out of town doing interviews and left it in downtown Boston yesterday, and haven't had a chance to..."
"Right," she commented as she jotted something down on my paperwork. A sidenote, no doubt, that I was an idiot.
She was dressed in designer wear also, very young and very beautiful and very unfriendly.
The interview was quick and painful, like ripping off a bandaid to expose a less-than qualified, oozing with inexperience interviewee.
"You'll need to give me two adjectives that describe you to keep in the back of my mind," she said looking down and scribbling on my paperwork. I waited for her to finish what she was doing and look up. When she did, she was obviously annoyed at the delayed response.
"Oh," I stammered. "I'm a quick to learn and a tireless worker." She sighed and waited. "Oh," I eloquently repeated. "You want me to make those into adjectives?"
She paused, pen poised in the air.
"Um, quick and dedicated," I blurted out. She wrote the words in perfect cursive at the top of the page.
"We do call-backs at 5 tonight," she stated.
"Great," I said outloud, thinking how I would NOT be waiting near the phone then.
I felt like "Ugly Betty" as I smiled at her, sure my middle school braces had reattatched themselves during my three minutes in her office. She sneered at me and showed me to the door, where I curtsied at those still waiting for their turn and took my leave.